New Year, Same You


The beginning of a new year brings about the possibility for new beginnings. It’s refreshing to hit a mental “restart” button, and set new intentions and goals as we reflect on our lives with a fresh pair of eyes. As you look to create resolutions for this new year, you may find it easier to create your resolutions than keep them. I have found, that oftentimes, resolutions also come with the implicit expectation that overnight we will become a new and improved version of ourselves and magically be able to accomplish large/lofty goals. This pressure is unrealistic and albeit unnecessary to accomplish your goals. You don't need to become a new person to make changes in your life. I’ll even arguing that in order to make real change in your life you first need to know yourself, become comfortable with who you are, and develop self-kindness as you embark on working towards your goals. 

Acceptance & Acknowledgement

It’s difficult to change when you don’t know yourself well. When we set intentions to change an aspect of our lives, we often forget to take into account how to work through the challenges that oftentimes keep us stuck or unable to accomplish what we set out to do. To truly follow through on our resolutions, we have to first acknowledge and accept who we are, including our limitations and what we can not change. This is all easier said then done and requires a consistent practice of being kind to yourself in the process. 

Set realistic goals and break them down into smaller more tangible goals

When creating goals, break them down into smaller, more tangible goals that are measurable and can become a part of your daily routine. For instance, if your goal is to get “healthy” this year, break down of how you’d like to get “healthy”. Will you be changing your food or exercise habits? If so mark down the frequency and how it can fit into your existing schedule. 

Its okay to fail...

As you work towards your goals, prepare for setbacks. Change is rarely linear, nor is it easy. When creating real change, it’s okay if things don't always go as you had hoped or planned. Sometimes we may take 2 steps forward and 4 steps back, while another time we take 5 steps forward and 1 step back. Learning to ride out the waves, how to encounter challenges so that you know how to continue working towards your goal is what’s important. A new year doesn't promise a new you, but it can promise an amazing opportunity to set new goals.

Highly Sensitive & Coping with National Tragedy

Horrific. Unfathomable. Traumatic. 

Coping with tragedy as a highly sensitive person.png

It feels as though we have been bombarded with tragedy after tragedy. From natural disasters affecting individuals in Texas, Puerto Rico, Florida, and Mexico to a mass shooting in Las Vegas claiming the lives of 59 people and injuring over 500. The heaviness and heartbreak pouring in can be overwhelming. You may find yourself experiencing a range of emotions from disbelief, anger, sadness, grief, hypervigilance, helplessness, and fear.  We are exposed to videos and stories flooding in that leave us vulnerable and at times unsure of what to do with the enormity of our feelings and desire for this to never happen again. 

For those who are highly sensitive and tend to absorb and experience these emotions on a deep and complex level it can become increasingly more difficult to go about day to day living. Not everyone experiences or copes with tragedy the same way. Some become numb or desensitized. Others are able to separate themselves from the tragedy and don’t feel as affected. 

Sensitivity, is a wonderful trait. It allows you to be attuned to others experiences, to display genuine empathy and compassion when there is pain and suffering. Sensitivity can also takes it toll on your own emotional health when your not paying attention. Take care of yourself as you continue to bear witness to the stories of those directly impacted by this tragedy.

Stay Connected

I encourage you to not stuff, hide, or try to run away from these feelings. I encourage you to find a safe space, a trusted friend or professional to share your experience with. Staying connected to others is vital in helping you cope. As humans, we are hardwired for connection. We need to feel heard and supported when we are in pain. 

Limit Your Exposure

It is absolutely okay, and at times even necessary, to limit how much news content you are watching or reading. I encourage you to find the right balance of how much news content you can absorb to stay informed without feeling overwhelmed. Unplugging and spending time in nature or with loved ones (including the furry pets) may also be extremely helpful.

Take Action

Traumatic events have a way of instilling helplessness. Fueling “how can I make a difference, I am one person”. You can make a HUGE difference because you are one person. Take action that aligns with your beliefs and principles. Your voice is powerful and meaningful. Use it. Call your representatives. Get involved in non-profits and organizations that believe in fighting for change that you believe in.


Please reach out if you are in need of resources following the Las Vegas shooting. I am happy to help get you connected and finding the support you need. 


Three Tips to Manage Overwhelm in the face of Fear

Fear is powerful. It can lead us to react in ways we could never predict, it can lead us feeling debilitated and unable to respond.

The experience of fear is normal and healthy. It often manifests in three forms:

You fight...

When backed up into a corner, you come out swinging! Both figuratively and literally. When you notice fear creeping in, anger soon follows. 

You flight...

When faced with fear you are quick to get out of harms way! You don't stick around to endure what makes you scared, you leave it, avoid it, and simply run away. 

Or You Freeze...

You may find yourself frozen or speechless when met with fear. Your body doesn't appear to be responsive and you are at a loss for words.  

Our fear response is an automatic reflex, and thank goodness for that! It literally is our survival mode, our way of protection and preservation. Our fear response can be triggered by both threats and perceived threats, and regardless of whether or not they are in fact "real"; our body can not always decipher the difference. It can happen during conversations with bosses, spouses, or even strangers. It can occur when we least expect it and without warning.

We can not control what cause us fear; we can control how we experience it. Through practice we can learn how to calm our nervous system in order to process, reflect, and slow down our thinking and reactions from it. 

Three tips to follow when faced with fear. 

  1. Create a self-compassionate inner dialogue that allows you to recognize when fear is creeping in. Giving "fear" a name and labeling it allows you to contain it's impact as you describe and experience it. We often search for words, language, and meaning to aid in our ability to clarify and understand. If you don't have a language or dialogue to identify difficult emotions it's makes it that much more difficult to calm yourself down. To work towards having a compassionate inner dialogue, I like to remind myself that it should be similar to how I would speak to a close friend who is struggling. I utilize kind and caring language.
  2. Allow yourself to experience fear without self-criticism or judgement.  Once you recognize it, acknowledge it with kindness. Judgement and criticism will not make fear go away any quicker, no matter how hard you try. As you much as you may want to wish it away, it's not going anywhere!
  3. Recognize that it is a feeling and not an identity. Feelings are meant to be felt. They may come and go with great intensity and linger for longer than we may hope, but they do not define us. You are still you, no matter what you feel. 

Fear, is a difficult emotion to experience. If you find yourself in need of additional support, or feeling overwhelmed by it, professional counseling can be incredibly beneficial. If you would like to learn how I can be of assistance, please contact me, I am here to help. 

Filling up your cup without the guilt.

Feeling worthy of self-care and putting yourself first. 

Your selflessness, your ability to be there for others when they are in need is a quality sought out by your friends and family. Your caring demeanor, reliability, and trustworthiness are all part of what makes you so special. You enjoy giving and doing for others but frequently struggle with filling up on self-care of your own. Leaving you drained, depleted, and exhausted.  You find yourself feeling guilty when taking the time for yourself as it doesn't line up with what you "should", "need", or "supposed" to be doing. You feel guilty for saying you can't make your friend's event, or that you are not spending your time on accomplishing items on your extensive to do list. Whether it is self-imposed or felt by others expectations; guilt is powerful. Here's the true dilemma:

Your cup is not bottomless...

Unlike your favorite bottomless mimosa brunch spot, you have a limit. Despite how difficult it is to set boundaries, they are critical to prevent burnout. If not, sooner or later you'll find yourself running on empty barely getting by, and still wanting to be there for others. But the problem still remains that you can not give of yourself when you have nothing left to give. In order to be there for others, you have to be willing to be there for yourself. You have to be willing to say no when you are not in a place of being able to give of yourself. It means not always saying yes to everyone and everything, and being okay with that. By actively putting yourself first your making it possible to sustain being there for others. 

Your cup can be replenished...

Identify when you are in need of a top off. Regularly schedule activities that are not only enjoyable but truly replenish you emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Things that allow you to breathe a little bit easier and make you smile. This is uniquely personal, for some it's getting a cup of coffee with their best friend, while for others its curling up with a new book and a hot cup of herbal tea. Whatever your feel good moments are, do more of them! Keep in mind by cultivating more opportunities that bring pleasure makes it a whole lot easier to accomplish the tasks on your never ending to do list.   

Taking the time for self-care allows you to have more to give and share with others. Most importantly, it is needed for your own health and wellbeing! If you are in need of additional support in putting yourself first, let's chat